I’ve been to therapy the other day, and I realised something really strange. As I was sat there talking to my therapist I realised I was happy. Like really, really HAPPY. I was trying to talk to her about something sad, and yet I could not stop smiling. As soon as I realised that, I felt relief, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I spend so much time worrying and stressing over EVERYTHING, that for once to just feel pure joy, made me even happier.
It only lasted two or three days, but I feel like it was the break I needed. A short break from my depression and anxiety. Being a 3rd year university student is proving really hard, despite all the fun I’m having, the sleepless nights and constant work, yet still feeling like I’m not doing enough, is difficult.
I also realised how strange it is that when I’m sad, I know it, I feel it in my core, but when I was happy, I didn’t even really realise it until someone pointed it out to me. It’s almost like I was riding on the high of happiness that I didn’t even stop to think about it. I know this also is probably not making much sense… but my point is, next time I’m that happy, I want to be aware of it straight away, I want to appreciate every second of it.